How to Write Your Own Wedding Vows

Imagine this: 20 years from now, you open a memory box. The eres might not fit anymore, the cake is a sweet memory… but those Words you promised before the Caribbean Sea will still beat with life. I{m Gaby Ro, wedding officiant in Riviera Maya, and today I’m sharing what I’ve learned after years of hearing “I do”s that make even the most guest quiver> how to write authentic vows that stand the test of time. It’s not magic… it’s heart + these 5 tips.

Photo by Natalia Tello

1. Say no to improvising.

   We often believe that for something to come from the heart, it must be improvised. But nerves can betray us, and we don't want to end up with an "uhh... I love you so much" paired with a sweaty forehead. If you think you'll get nervous, please set aside time to write your vows—find a quiet moment alone, calm and relaxed. Remember: this isn't a speech... it's the map of your future love.

2. Wine night & secret pacts.

   My advice: "Uncork your favorite wine and dedicate an evening to talking about your ceremony!" Not to write yet—but to agree on how many paragraphs your vows will be. We don't want one writing 1 paragraph while the other drafts two pages... that imbalance shows! Sync up: 3 paragraphs? 5 promises? This way, you'll flow in harmony. 🍷

   
   

3. Rescue lists.

   Mental blank screen? Don't worry—dig into your memories instead! Grab a notebook and write:

   - Things you LOVE about your partner: From the profound ("your resilience") to the everyday ("how you hum off-key").

   - Fun facts: Absurd details only you know ("collects rocks from the road", "sets the alarm for 6:53 instead of 6:50").

   - Your life together in 3 scenes: Cross-country road trips in a van? Weekend camping with your 2 kids? A bigger house with a large garden for your 5 dogs and 3 cats?

   - Down-to-earth promises: "I promise to be your shoulder to cry on when your soccer team loses a match", "I won't get mad (much) when I find hairs on the floor".

   
   

   Now mix: A spoonful from list 1 + a sprinkle of gossip from list 2 + a dream from list 3 + a promise from list 4. Voilà! You've got the base for vows with shared DNA. ✨

   
   

4. Be yourself, not a Shakespeare character

   A story that taught me everything: A groom arrived with vows so "elegant" even he didn't understand them. While reading, he stammered... and ended up crying in frustration. Moral: Your vows don't need to be stiff. Say what you feel! No fancy words—use vocabulary that feels comfortable. A real example I adore? "I promise not to mock your team when they miss a penalty... even if my team is the opponent." Was it formal? No. Was it REAL? YES! And so memorable guests still mention it. ❤️

   
   

5. Speak from the heart.

   The most important (and forgotten) step: Once your vows are finished:

   1. READ THEM ALOUD — you'll discover phrases that sound better on paper.

   2. Edit what doesn't ring true.

   3. Stand before a mirror and say them with the emotion they deserve.

   
   

   The big secret: It's not about memorizing! Just get familiar. On the Wedding Day, BRING THEM WRITTEN... and don't forget extra tissues! 😉

Photo by Akah Photography